The Wait

If you think about it not very many people actually pursue a season of waiting in their life. The mentality is that we go from one event to the next to the next. Thats how it is supposed to work. Waiting is wasting time. We never say, “for the next five years of my life I want to wait.” But somehow more often than not we find ourselves in seasons of waiting in our lives that can last months or even years. Most of these seasons are unplanned. We are waiting to hear back from a job we applied for. We are waiting to hear about whether we got into the school we wanted to or not. Or we are just generally waiting for a sense of calling or purpose to our life. We want meaning behind what we are doing and waiting is considered meaningless.

I was recently at a retreat where the speaker talked a bit about what expectations should be in different seasons of life. Simply put, there is MUCH waiting involved.

I think we should reconsider viewing these seasons of waiting as meddlesome and as being a burden and view them more as opportunities to shape and form our commitment and character. Or rather letting the Holy Spirit shape and form our character in these seasons of wait.

In the Bible David is anointed King of Israel….. but then spends the next 15 years running for his life from Saul.  David is probably asking, “What the heck is going on?” This was a season of waiting for him. Later Elijah calls down fire from heaven and burns up the altar……. but then spends the next several years running from Jezebel. This is a season of waiting for him. I can see him saying, “God what are are you doing?” Not days or months for these guy…. but YEARS.

I propose that we should embrace these seasons of waiting and take every opportunity possible to allow God to transform our character. Not to the point where we never progress to whats next for us in our lives but I think we shouldn’t see these seasons as meaningless but rather as formative.

Here’s to waiting!

Tell your Story

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.”

I’ve been restless tonight and spent some time in the Psalms very very early this morning.

I paused here in 107.

Another translations says “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.”

I think a lot of people feel like they don’t have a story to tell. I think its partly because as a church we continually put one type of story in front of everyone constantly. The story of massive transformation and life change which I think is central to an encounter with Jesus. But what if you’re the other son in Luke 15? The one who never left home. The father still says to him, “you are always with me, all that is mine is yours.” These “older son” stories are often viewed as insignificant when compared to “younger son” stories. I submit that we need to hear a lot more of the former because many people identify with that son while feeling like they should or are supposed to identify with the latter. People who may not have ever left home feel like their story is insignificant because they don’t have this powerful, moving story. They doubt and deny a relationship to the Father because they have never experienced “something like that.”

I find this sad. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story. All of them.

An incredible musician

If you are even remotely a music fan and somewhat enjoy a rock/folk genre. Zach Williams is one of the best musicians I have heard in a long time. If you know me then you know that I dont say that often. Buy his album Story Time. Do it Now. I would put a sample here but it wont let me.

Maturity does not equal conformity

Some people find livermush (scrapple) disgusting and some find it absolutely delicious (myself included). I used to have a problem where I looked down on people who didn’t like livermush but lately I’m finding them legit.

There tends to be a stream of thought out there that says the more mature people are the more similar they should act…… and look….. and talk. People who go to the same school should end up thinking alike by the time they are finished. People who work for the same organization should look and act more and more like the CEO if they want to be successful in their organization. Its like a funnel where a broad spectrum of people exist in the beginning, but slowly and over time they become alike.

The funny thing is that no two people are alike. Everyone has different talents, skills, gifts, and abilities that are unique to them. So trying to funnel everyone into the same prototype is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. One of the core values at National Community Church is Maturity does not equal Conformity. This resonates with me so much. It frees me to be myself and to find ways to foster my own gifts and abilities and not to try to become someone else.

Just thought I would share. So I guess everyone doesn’t have to like livermush :/

The Issue

Have you ever thought about this? No one ever really knows what you are thinking except you. Unless of course you tell someone exactly what your thinking. But then only you know that they know what your thinking.

No one can read your mind. People can only listen and observe and come to conclusions based on those two things. If I tell someone that the Charlotte Hornets are my favorite NBA team of all time (they are) then how do they know that I’m actually telling the truth……. they dont! They just have to trust me. The banners, t-shirts, and other paraphernalia act to reinforce the notion that I love the Charlotte Hornets but do not make it true. I can tell as many people that I want that I think dairy is evil (it is) but do they really believe I think that?

There comes a point where you just have to choose to trust a person and risk being made a fool or choose to not trust and never really develop any depth of relationship?

To me either way is a great risk, so I chose to trust and give people the benefit of the doubt and risk being screwed. Sometimes I am and other times its very rewarding.

Which do you choose?

The Curse of Knowledge

Lets say that you have spent the last four years of your life in the workplace or in a college or university settings. In that environment you have accrued and learned a certain level of information and accumulated a certain amount of experiences about a particular subject (relevant to everyday life or not). You take that information, some of it affects your daily decisions and some of it does not, and apply it to your life.

You have a certain level of knowledge about something.

Now say you and talking about a subject that you have a great deal of knowledge about with someone who doesnt know near as much. How does this work? How do you get them to the point where you are?

My experience tells me one thing. Its not in showing them how much you know.

I remember a religion class I took in college on Buddhism. They was a concept we discussed called the curse of knowledge. I’m not sure if that is where the concept originated or not but there is some truth to it. Its simply a concept that explores the fact that once you have a certain level of knowledge you can’t imagine what it would be like not to have that knowledge anymore. So in trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t have that knowledge there is often a huge disconnect. The most common example of this is an experiment where a person is asked to “tap” a song for another person. The tapper predicted the listener would guess the song right 50% of the time while they actually only got it right 2.5% of the time. The tapper has an additional element of knowledge that is, knowing what the song is. Chip and Dan Heath in their book Made to Stick describe it this way,

“The problem is that tappers have been given knowledge (the song title) that makes it impossible for them to imagine what it’s like to lack that knowledge. When they’re tapping, they can’t imagine what it’s like for the listeners to hear isolated taps rather than a song. This is the Curse of Knowledge. Once we know something, we find it hard to imagine what it was like not to know it. Our knowledge has “cursed” us.  And it becomes difficult for us to share our knowledge with others, because we can’t readily re-create our listeners’ state of mind.”
This brings up the question, well then how do we communicate anything? Again, I know that it is not in showing then how much you know. If anything that fronts an attitude of arrogance.

I am not saying this is the way to do it, but might I suggest a relational approach to communication. Instead of showing people how much we know maybe we bring them along a similar process that we went through to get where we are. One of my new friends and mentors in Washington DC, Heather Zempel always encourages people to be tour guides rather than travel agents. A tour guide goes with you everywhere, taking you to and talking you through each place, experiencing it with you. A travel agent sits in comfort and ease dictating what you should see and experience while never having done it themselves. They will show you their knowledge but may not help you to get where they are.

We cannot assume that people are in the same place that we are in any arena of life. We must get to know people first and learn to communicate relationally.

Let me know what you think!

Lets Try this Again

So this is my attempt at a more formal and regularly updated blog. Comment and let me know your thoughts on what I post. I’ve given up the scattered blogspot stuff. Enjoy.

Group Life

Its been a little over a month now with National Community Church here in Washington DC. I’ve tried as much and as often as I can to enter into “sponge mode” and soak up the variety of elements that surround discipleship and small groups here. The team that I work with are incredible people who are wholly committed to seeing spiritual growth through small groups. It is the LifeBreath of the church. Everything that happens is allowed to happen through a small group of people who are committed to growing with each other. Not simply an attitude of positivity or obvious overlooking of circumstances. Regardless of what the “topic” or “theme” of the the group is they are all in pursuit of the same goal, to have their life look more like Jesus’s. Thats it. How does that happen? I think its different for everyone.

This puts me onto the subject of group life in general. What is so great about doing life with other people? Why not just crawl in a hole and live out your own existence taking what you need relationally from other people and leaving what you do not? The question of community is an interesting one. Why are people drawn to social interaction with others? I recently read a book called The Unlikely Disciple by Kevin Roose. He was a Brown University student who went “undercover” posing as a Christian at Liberty University. He was there for one semester and make several interesting observations. One that has stuck with me was his evaluation of community there. He said that he could not put his finger on it but there was something compelling about his experiences gathering with other Christians. He began to desire it and pursue it. People with a common goal or objective interacting together in different ways.

Sometimes I think we intentionally avoid interaction with others, or building healthy relationships with someone, that are based on trust, because we are fearful of being “found out.” I think, though, if our pursuit is to be conformed more and more to a life like Jesus’ then we have to live honestly and openly with the people closest to us.

These are my thoughts, incomplete. What do you think?

Assumptions and Persuasion (2nd edition)

So in DC I have a lot of time to pseudo-think while I am walking and on the metro. I get to think but not really completely because I need to be attentive to….. like….. cars, bikes, trains, other people. Alas, the last several times I have traveled by foot the same thought and idea has been stirring in my head so I figured I would blog away.

I have been thinking a lot lately about persuasion and specifically conversations and actions that we use to try and convince people that something we say or do is, in effect, the correct thing to say or do in that instant. Or the way we think about a particular religious, political, or social idea is the right way to think and we proceed to attempt to persuade them over to our side through what seems like logic to us.

I think we make some dangerous assumptions sometimes. The first is somewhat diabolical (not sure if this is the exact context but I really wanted to use that word). There are two separate spheres. The first is how strongly we feel about something. Are our passions and beliefs wrapped up in this? The second sphere is the actual thing that we would be passionate about (e.g. The libertarian party, serving the poor, religious beliefs) It is important not to assume that everyone has the same level of passion and conviction for the things they claim to believe in. For example, if a Christian is trying to tell a Mormon why they should be a Christian or vise-versa. To this person the Christian Faith may be what guides, shapes, and directs the course of their life but to the Mormon, maybe their Faith is not as significant to their life but regardless they claim it. It would be pointless to try to convince this person to “switch” religions because how they regard the Mormon beliefs are not how you regard your Christian beliefs. Your levels of passion or significance are totally different. So you may be persuasive and have them consider your values but then they regard your Christian Faith as they did their Mormon Faith which I don’t think was your intention.

Anyways all that to say I don’t think we are very good persuaders, and not just in a Faith sense. I think instead of finding out what people are truly passionate about, the things they devote their time and attention to, If we disagree with a person we assume they believe the opposite of what we are passionate about, regardless of the level of significance they give to it because I think we tend to see things as polar. Instead of trying to rechannel passion in someone we attempt to replace one for the other.

Another element of this is that you truly have to care about a person to find out where their heart is and what fulfills them. Most misunderstanding are the result of not having or desiring any level of relationship for the person we communicate with in any given instant. Out of the desire for a relationship with a person comes a genuine passion for understanding their circumstances and who someone really is. And through that how best to communicate with them.

Do we care about people? not physically but wholly.

Somewhat scattered but I needed to spit it out. What do you think?