2009 Booklist

Some of my friends were doing this and thought it was a good idea. A little late like most things but if it wasn’t then it wouldn’t be appropriate now would it? idk

Books I read in 2009 (incomplete):

Wild Goose Chase By Mark Batterson

Flickering Pixels by Shane Hipps

Jesus Wants to Save Christians by Rob Bell

Our Mother, Saint Paul by Beverly Gaventa

A Brief History of Everything by Ken Wilbur

The Unlikely Disciple by Kevin Roose

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen

ReJesus by Alan Hirsch

Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus

Wide Awake by Erwin McManus

Borderland Churches by Gary Nelson

The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazerro

The Shaping of Things to Come by Alan Hirsch

Incomplete but still is hopefully helpful let me know some of the best ones that you read this past year and i’ll consider putting it on the 2010 list

Becoming who you were….. unfortunately

Since the holidays (which were a while ago, I am aware that I have not blogged in some time) I have been meaning to post something along the lines of the grand return to the past. I haven’t been around my immediate or extended family for an extended period of time since I left for undergrad in Raleigh, NC. Which was a while a go, 7 years ish i think.

I used to be the guy at all family gathering, including holidays and reunions, who would more or less clean up any leftovers. Remember this is back in High School days. Therefore every time I am around my family now they still think that that is who I am. The guy who cleans up the food. Every holiday I have more food offered to me for consumption. I try to explain that no I am not that same guy anymore who used to eat everything. Sometimes it works and sometimes I cave. :-/ Regardless of the result this last time I went home for Christmas I began to think of how I tend to revert back to the old me in a lot of instances. Especially when I am around the people who were around me all the time for that portion of my life. I see my family and I see my old friends and I fight not to become the old me.

We go home to our families and to our old friends and we behave in our old ways and argue the same old arguments even though mentally we have moved on and we have dramatically changed our person over the years. Why is this? Why do we fight to maintain who we are and not revert back to who we were?

The same is true with friends. When I spend time with some of my friends from High School or College more often than not it seems like all we have in common are “the old days” and we can unite in reminiscence for a few days and are then fed up we each other because we no longer have anything in common. If you’re reading this blog then I’m not talking about you

Part of what connects people so well, whether its friends or family, or even co-workers, is accumulating experiences TOGETHER. Since I have moved out from under my parents we don’t experience near the amount of things together than we used to. Since I have moved from city to city some of my friends and I experience less and less life events together as I meet new people that I experience more and more life events with. Often this results in a disconnect. Your life experiences are a huge part of who you are. When people cease to experience things with you it is hard for them know you.

So the question then is…. Is there a way for people to really truly know us when we aren’t around them often? And my answer is I don’t know….. My suggestion and what I try to do is to use it as a platform for a conversation starter or as an opportunity to explain the person that I’ve become as best I can and hope that in some way they can relate to my experience.

Because we possess the mentality that its pointless to try to explain to our family and friends that we are a different person than we used to be we just give it up and press into reminiscence and old arguments and experiences to relate to people that we used to have so much in common with. I think this is sad.

Christmas Music

When it comes to Christmas music there are only two categories. Mariah Carey’s christmas album and then everything else.

My top 5 songs:

1. Anything from Sufjan Stevens christmas album

2. O come o come Emmanuel

3 We three Kings

4. God rest ye merry gentlemen

5. O holy night

5. All I want for Christmas is you

I’m not that big of a fan of Christmas music. Most people know that but we’ve been singing a couple carols the last couple weekends at NCC and some of the lesser sung verses strike a chord with me. Check out the third verse of O Holy Night.

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Love it!

The Wait

If you think about it not very many people actually pursue a season of waiting in their life. The mentality is that we go from one event to the next to the next. Thats how it is supposed to work. Waiting is wasting time. We never say, “for the next five years of my life I want to wait.” But somehow more often than not we find ourselves in seasons of waiting in our lives that can last months or even years. Most of these seasons are unplanned. We are waiting to hear back from a job we applied for. We are waiting to hear about whether we got into the school we wanted to or not. Or we are just generally waiting for a sense of calling or purpose to our life. We want meaning behind what we are doing and waiting is considered meaningless.

I was recently at a retreat where the speaker talked a bit about what expectations should be in different seasons of life. Simply put, there is MUCH waiting involved.

I think we should reconsider viewing these seasons of waiting as meddlesome and as being a burden and view them more as opportunities to shape and form our commitment and character. Or rather letting the Holy Spirit shape and form our character in these seasons of wait.

In the Bible David is anointed King of Israel….. but then spends the next 15 years running for his life from Saul.  David is probably asking, “What the heck is going on?” This was a season of waiting for him. Later Elijah calls down fire from heaven and burns up the altar……. but then spends the next several years running from Jezebel. This is a season of waiting for him. I can see him saying, “God what are are you doing?” Not days or months for these guy…. but YEARS.

I propose that we should embrace these seasons of waiting and take every opportunity possible to allow God to transform our character. Not to the point where we never progress to whats next for us in our lives but I think we shouldn’t see these seasons as meaningless but rather as formative.

Here’s to waiting!

Tell your Story

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.”

I’ve been restless tonight and spent some time in the Psalms very very early this morning.

I paused here in 107.

Another translations says “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.”

I think a lot of people feel like they don’t have a story to tell. I think its partly because as a church we continually put one type of story in front of everyone constantly. The story of massive transformation and life change which I think is central to an encounter with Jesus. But what if you’re the other son in Luke 15? The one who never left home. The father still says to him, “you are always with me, all that is mine is yours.” These “older son” stories are often viewed as insignificant when compared to “younger son” stories. I submit that we need to hear a lot more of the former because many people identify with that son while feeling like they should or are supposed to identify with the latter. People who may not have ever left home feel like their story is insignificant because they don’t have this powerful, moving story. They doubt and deny a relationship to the Father because they have never experienced “something like that.”

I find this sad. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story. All of them.

An incredible musician

If you are even remotely a music fan and somewhat enjoy a rock/folk genre. Zach Williams is one of the best musicians I have heard in a long time. If you know me then you know that I dont say that often. Buy his album Story Time. Do it Now. I would put a sample here but it wont let me.

Maturity does not equal conformity

Some people find livermush (scrapple) disgusting and some find it absolutely delicious (myself included). I used to have a problem where I looked down on people who didn’t like livermush but lately I’m finding them legit.

There tends to be a stream of thought out there that says the more mature people are the more similar they should act…… and look….. and talk. People who go to the same school should end up thinking alike by the time they are finished. People who work for the same organization should look and act more and more like the CEO if they want to be successful in their organization. Its like a funnel where a broad spectrum of people exist in the beginning, but slowly and over time they become alike.

The funny thing is that no two people are alike. Everyone has different talents, skills, gifts, and abilities that are unique to them. So trying to funnel everyone into the same prototype is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. One of the core values at National Community Church is Maturity does not equal Conformity. This resonates with me so much. It frees me to be myself and to find ways to foster my own gifts and abilities and not to try to become someone else.

Just thought I would share. So I guess everyone doesn’t have to like livermush :/

The Issue

Have you ever thought about this? No one ever really knows what you are thinking except you. Unless of course you tell someone exactly what your thinking. But then only you know that they know what your thinking.

No one can read your mind. People can only listen and observe and come to conclusions based on those two things. If I tell someone that the Charlotte Hornets are my favorite NBA team of all time (they are) then how do they know that I’m actually telling the truth……. they dont! They just have to trust me. The banners, t-shirts, and other paraphernalia act to reinforce the notion that I love the Charlotte Hornets but do not make it true. I can tell as many people that I want that I think dairy is evil (it is) but do they really believe I think that?

There comes a point where you just have to choose to trust a person and risk being made a fool or choose to not trust and never really develop any depth of relationship?

To me either way is a great risk, so I chose to trust and give people the benefit of the doubt and risk being screwed. Sometimes I am and other times its very rewarding.

Which do you choose?

The Curse of Knowledge

Lets say that you have spent the last four years of your life in the workplace or in a college or university settings. In that environment you have accrued and learned a certain level of information and accumulated a certain amount of experiences about a particular subject (relevant to everyday life or not). You take that information, some of it affects your daily decisions and some of it does not, and apply it to your life.

You have a certain level of knowledge about something.

Now say you and talking about a subject that you have a great deal of knowledge about with someone who doesnt know near as much. How does this work? How do you get them to the point where you are?

My experience tells me one thing. Its not in showing them how much you know.

I remember a religion class I took in college on Buddhism. They was a concept we discussed called the curse of knowledge. I’m not sure if that is where the concept originated or not but there is some truth to it. Its simply a concept that explores the fact that once you have a certain level of knowledge you can’t imagine what it would be like not to have that knowledge anymore. So in trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t have that knowledge there is often a huge disconnect. The most common example of this is an experiment where a person is asked to “tap” a song for another person. The tapper predicted the listener would guess the song right 50% of the time while they actually only got it right 2.5% of the time. The tapper has an additional element of knowledge that is, knowing what the song is. Chip and Dan Heath in their book Made to Stick describe it this way,

“The problem is that tappers have been given knowledge (the song title) that makes it impossible for them to imagine what it’s like to lack that knowledge. When they’re tapping, they can’t imagine what it’s like for the listeners to hear isolated taps rather than a song. This is the Curse of Knowledge. Once we know something, we find it hard to imagine what it was like not to know it. Our knowledge has “cursed” us.  And it becomes difficult for us to share our knowledge with others, because we can’t readily re-create our listeners’ state of mind.”
This brings up the question, well then how do we communicate anything? Again, I know that it is not in showing then how much you know. If anything that fronts an attitude of arrogance.

I am not saying this is the way to do it, but might I suggest a relational approach to communication. Instead of showing people how much we know maybe we bring them along a similar process that we went through to get where we are. One of my new friends and mentors in Washington DC, Heather Zempel always encourages people to be tour guides rather than travel agents. A tour guide goes with you everywhere, taking you to and talking you through each place, experiencing it with you. A travel agent sits in comfort and ease dictating what you should see and experience while never having done it themselves. They will show you their knowledge but may not help you to get where they are.

We cannot assume that people are in the same place that we are in any arena of life. We must get to know people first and learn to communicate relationally.

Let me know what you think!

Lets Try this Again

So this is my attempt at a more formal and regularly updated blog. Comment and let me know your thoughts on what I post. I’ve given up the scattered blogspot stuff. Enjoy.